I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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