community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
