dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think i have two assholes
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
