I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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