Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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