Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
