He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
