do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
