I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
