I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize