Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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