I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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