Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
