I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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