stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
