do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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