she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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