I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
