I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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