Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
