I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
