her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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