i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
