it hurts more in the daytime
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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