so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
