Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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