i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
