i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
