Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
