Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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