Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
