Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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