Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
