This is not my ceiling
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you will always have a special place in my vag
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize