Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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