I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize