New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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