god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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