So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize