But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
