I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
