how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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