I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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