first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
