Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
