it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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