If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
