i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
