you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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