Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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