I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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