It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
