Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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