You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
