I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
