My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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