I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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